i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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