My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
