What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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