There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
