Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize