The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
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