His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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