Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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