I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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