Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
