i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
