so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
