No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
A+ Viking dick
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
