when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize