why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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