Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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