And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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