I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
