New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
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I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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