Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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