i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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