Ketchup is God's man juice
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
