i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
