Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
True strength comes from lack of pants
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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