i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
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N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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