Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
