i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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