I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
