worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
