I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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