I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
God, you're like boner-b-gone
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
