How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
