This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize