oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
