just tell him i said nine months
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
