I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
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