is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?