the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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