I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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