I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize