1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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