So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
