Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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