Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
