I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
