I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
