I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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