So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
