You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
