If that was your dad, he is hot
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
BRING THE BAGELS
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
