Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
