This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
God, I missed his penis.
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