Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize